I once had a really bad chemical burn on my face, which left a deep scar, and I was quite insecure about it. One time, I was at a public event and a sister walked up to me and the first thing she did was point it out. I couldn't help but feel how insensitive and emotionally unintelligent that was. Some version of this is far too common.
If someone has just recently been divorced or experienced a loss or trauma or is having family problems, have enough emotional intelligence and sensitivity not to bring it up-- unless you know they want to talk about it.
These are scars and no one appreciates them being pointed out. It's often shaming and humiliating.
Once the Prophet (pbuh) was sitting in a room with Aisha (RA) and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight and was staring at him long enough for him to notice.
He said, "What's the matter?" She replied, "If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you." The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "What did he say?" She replied, "Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see." So the Prophet (pbuh) got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, "Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more."
(Narrated in Dala'el Al-Nubuwa for Imam Abu Nu'aim with isnad including Imam Bukhari and Imam Ibn Khuzaina)
People say that it's not what happens to you that matters, but how you responded. However, they miss a step. How you respond is determined by the lens you use to see the situation, and the world. Change your lens and you change your response...
Change your response, and you change your life.
We often wonder why God gives and takes, constricts and expands. What we forget is that human beings understand things by their opposites. Without dark, we can’t understand light. Without hardship, we wouldn’t *experience* ease. Without the existence of deprivation and loss, we couldn’t grasp the need for gratitude or the virtue of patience. And without separation, we wouldn’t taste the sweetness of reunion.
Glory be to the one who gives—even when He takes.